Long overdue update.

First off, I’ve decided that the number system I’ve been using is a tad confusing. I’ll eventually go back and edit all previous posts, but from here on I will start calling the folks in my core family by initials:
#1 == A
#2 == B
#3 == C
#3’s #2 == D

So we can diagram it like this (and hope the formatting works)

A--Me--B
   |
   C--D

I know my last post was about “letting go”, but it really took until this past week to let go of C, to stop basing my happiness almost entirely on the condition of our relationship, and to just say “If we can work things out, fantastic; if we can’t, I happy to have had her in my life for a couple years.”  Making this move has done a lot to improve my mental health and happiness, and (I think) hers as well. She needs some time and space to heal herself, to stop being angry, and to remember why she loved me in the first place and how happy we used to be. I saw her last night, in a friendly capacity (dinner with A, B, C, and C’s kids), and when I sent her my daily morning text, I got a “love you too”, which hasn’t happened in a number of days, so I think we can maybe salvage things still. D has been fantastic in supporting me, trying to mediate things between C and I. He could more easily do nothing, or even say things that would convince her to end it, and then have her all to himself. It’s a testament to his character, and I’m proud to have him as my boyfriend-in-law.

Things are still going up and down with B, but the general trend is upward, and the ups are longer than the downs are, though I’m now fighting for her attention with an online addiction.

Need to work on the relationship with A. She’s been having a bit of an attitude lately, and it seems that the cause behind it is that she’s feeling neglected, and unhappy that we no longer share very many interests. When we met some 21 years ago, nearly all of our interests were shared, but we’ve been growing apart and each of us has new interests that the other does not share. I try to do things with her for the sake of doing things with her, but that just leaves her feeling guilty that she’s “making” me do something I don’t really want to do. Catch 22.

That’s it in a nutshell. Busy life lately, and starting to suffer from Winter’s grip. I always lose motivation to do things this time of year…

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~ by polywolf on 2010/01/20.

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